On a first date, you want to make a good impression and bring a small gift. But you’re worried that something too expensive will pressure the other person, while something too cheap might make you seem insincere.

First, don’t bring anything too expensive. If you show up to a first date with a bag, perfume, or jewelry, the other person will feel pressured. She’ll wonder if you’re trying to win her over with money. For a first date, a small gift worth just ten or twenty yuan is enough.

Second, a small snack or drink is just fine. For example, if you pass a milk tea shop, buy two cups of milk tea and bring them along; if you pass a bakery, pick up a small cake. It’s not expensive, but it shows you’re thoughtful. If you bring them a drink in advance, they’ll feel you’re considerate.

Don’t show up empty-handed, but don’t go overboard either. Showing up empty-handed makes you seem like you don’t care. Bringing a pile of things seems too formal. A cup of milk tea or a small pastry is just right—not costly, but thoughtful. On a first date, what matters is that the two of you have a good conversation, not the gift.

Some people argue that blind dates should be straightforward: how much you earn, whether you own a home, whether you want children—get it all out in one go to avoid wasting time. Others feel that’s too realistic; talking about conditions right from the start kills any chance of romance.

Actually, it depends on how far you go. Hard facts—such as marital status, whether you have children, and roughly where you work and live—are better clarified early on for both sides. Hiding them and only confessing on the third date is what truly wastes time.

But when it comes to money and property, there’s no need to go into detail on the first meeting. You can say, “My job is stable right now, I’m renting, and I’m still saving up”—that’s enough. If someone opens with “Whose name is on your deed?”, anyone would feel uncomfortable.

How you say it matters too. Don’t use an interrogating tone: “How much is your monthly salary? Do you own a home?” Switch to stating: “Here’s my situation—I’d also like to hear yours.” You share first, and the other person will be more willing to share.

One more thing: don’t treat conditions as the sole筛选 criterion for screening people. Conditions can filter out those who don’t fit, but they can’t filter in those you click with. Feeling comfortable talking, having similar views on things—these can’t be filled into a form.

Say what should be said early; don’t rush to ask what shouldn’t be asked. Get the order right, and blind dates won’t feel so much like negotiations.